I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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