Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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