I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
