yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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