the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
