Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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