drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
