Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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