My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
