I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize