I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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