seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
