I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
