You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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