So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
