I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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