normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
