his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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