we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
