im about as happy as oj after his trial
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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