there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
