Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
