dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize