its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
