So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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