Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
