I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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