Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
