I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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