i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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