yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
