Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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