Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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