I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
