Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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