I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
