I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
