are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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