great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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