you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
