he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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