I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
