I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
