If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
