I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Randomize