so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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