im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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