Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
