Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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