My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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