Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You made out with two different species that night
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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