you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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