That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
