I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
