I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
