I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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