Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
how does that bad decision feel?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
