Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize