do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
