we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
