Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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