so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You smell like a Billy Joel song
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
