That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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