No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize