you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
