Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Umm I'm too high to move.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Randomize
