Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
