Yo dont text me then not text me
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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