Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
