i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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